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2017-1-13 15:54 上傳
學(xué)會拒絕別人,,是你能為自己做的做好的事之一,但是,,許多人都覺得這非常難,。為什么呢?因?yàn)榇蠹叶枷氡凰怂矚g,。諷刺的是,,如果你能在適當(dāng)?shù)臅r候拒絕別人,人們才會更加喜歡你,,尊重你,。
Why Say No 拒絕別人的原因 1. People will respect you. People who say yes to everything in an attempt to be liked are quickly recognized as pushovers. 人們會尊重你。人們之所以言聽計從,,是力圖被別人喜歡,,但很快就會被認(rèn)為是容易搞定的人。
When you say no to someone you are letting them know that you have boundaries. You are showing that you respect yourself--and that is how you gain respect from others.當(dāng) 你拒絕他人的時候,,你是在告訴他們,,你也有底線。你是在展示對自己的尊重——這就是你贏得他人尊重的原因,。
2. People will actually see you as more dependable. When you say yes only when you have the time and true ability to do a great job, then you'll gain a reputation for being dependable.If you say yes to everything, you're bound to do a bad job at everything. 人們會覺得你很可靠,。當(dāng)你只有在有時間和能力做好的時候才答應(yīng)別人,你就能為自己贏來可靠的名聲,。如果你對什么都是言聽計從,,你一定什么都做不好。
3. When you're selective with your tasks, you'll sharpen your natural strengths. If you concentrate on the things you're good at, you'll be able to improve on your natural talents. For example, if you're a great writer but you're not so great as an artist, you may volunteer to write speeches but you shouldn't sign up to make the posters for your club. Concentrate on your strength and build your skills (and your experience) for college. 當(dāng)你有選擇性地對待你的任務(wù),,你就可以提高自己的天然優(yōu)勢,。如果你將注意力集中在你所擅長的事情上,你就可以改善自己的天賦,。例如,,如果你是一個出色的作家,但你在藝術(shù)方面則沒有什么天賦,,你可能就會自發(fā)地歇一歇演講稿,,但你卻不會簽約去為你的俱樂部制作海報。將注意力集中在你的長處上,,鍛煉自己在大學(xué)的技術(shù)(和經(jīng)驗(yàn)),。
4. Your life will be less stressful. You may be tempted to say yes to people in order to please them. In the long run, you're only hurting yourself and others when you do this. You stress yourself out by overloading yourself, and you experience increased stress when you realize you're bound to let them down. 你的生活也會少些壓力,。你可能為了取悅一些人而答應(yīng)他們某些事。從長遠(yuǎn)看,,當(dāng)你這樣做的時候,,你只是在傷害你自己和他人。你使自己超載,,從而不堪重負(fù),,當(dāng)你意識到你一定會讓別人失望的時候,你的壓力也會也會與之劇增,。
When to Say No 什么時候應(yīng)該拒絕別人 First let's point out the obvious: do your homework. 首先指出顯而易見的: You should never say no to a teacher, friend, or family member who is merely asking you to live up to your responsibilities. It's not okay to say no to a class assignment, just because you don't feel like doing it for some reason. This is not an exercise in cockiness. 你不應(yīng)該拒絕你的老師,,朋友或家人,因?yàn)樗麄儍H僅是在告訴你,,不要辜負(fù)自己的責(zé)任,。你不應(yīng)該因?yàn)橐恍┰虿幌胱鼍途芙^做家庭作業(yè)。這可不是在考驗(yàn)?zāi)愕尿湴磷源蟆?/font>
It is OK to say no when somebody is asking you to step outside your true responsibilities and outside your comfort zone to take on a task that is dangerous or one that will overload you and affect your academic work and your reputation. 當(dāng)某人想讓你做職責(zé)范圍或舒適區(qū)以外的危險的事,,或者是增加你的負(fù)擔(dān)和影響你的學(xué)業(yè)和名譽(yù)的事,,你就應(yīng)該拒絕別人。
For example: 例如 •If a teacher suggests that you become the president of a club that he or she is advising, but your schedule is already over-packed. 若如果老師推薦了一個俱樂部,,建議你擔(dān)任俱樂部主席,,但是你的日程表已經(jīng)排滿了。
•If a popular athlete asks you to help with his/her homework and you don't have time. 如果一個有人氣的運(yùn)動員拜托你幫他寫作業(yè),,但你沒時間,。
•If anybody asks you to do their homework for them. 如果有人讓你幫他們做作業(yè)。
•If anybody asks you to give them information that was on a test (if they have a later class with the same teacher). 如果有人讓你給他們提供有關(guān)考試的信息(如果他們跟你是一個老師,,只不過是后進(jìn)來的),。
It can be very difficult to say no to somebody whom you really respect, but you'll find that you actually gain respect from them when you show enough courage to say no. 拒絕你所尊重的人會很難,,但你會發(fā)現(xiàn),,當(dāng)你表現(xiàn)出足夠的勇氣來拒絕他們的時候,你實(shí)際上也得到了尊重,。 |