戀愛(ài)情商：愛(ài)情中一定要做和絕不能做的事

雪白的雪

　　As a psychologist and relationship counselor for over 25 years, I speak from experience when I say there's more to the art of love than we can imagine: people are complex, riddled with flaws and deep desires, desperately seeking to be understood. Practice these 8 relationship dos and don'ts to fortifyyour romance with harmony, stability, and joy:
　　作為一位從業(yè)逾25年的心理學(xué)家和情感咨詢師,，從經(jīng)驗(yàn)出發(fā)，我會(huì)說(shuō)：愛(ài)的藝術(shù)要比我們想象得更高深,。人是很復(fù)雜的,，有令人迷惑的缺點(diǎn)和深層次的渴望，而且非常希望能被別人理解,。你可以在情感關(guān)系中試試以下8件“一定要”和“一定不要”做的事,，讓你們的愛(ài)情關(guān)系更加和諧、穩(wěn)定,、愉悅,。

　　Do develop emotional intimacy: Emotional intimacy is knowing what your partner needs before they even get a chance to ask. It is picking up on their feelings as if they were your own. Develop a sense of emotional intimacy by being honest with your partner and sensitive to their needs.
　　一定要建立情感親密。情感親密就是知曉伴侶所需,，甚至在他們開(kāi)口之前你就已經(jīng)知道了,。你要關(guān)注他們的感覺(jué)，就像關(guān)注自己的感覺(jué)一樣,。要建立一種情感上的親密感,，你需要和你的伴侶坦誠(chéng)相待，并敏感地感知他們的需求,。

　　Do plan a life together: Our plans may not always work out, but envisioning a future with our partner inspires us to take the right steps towards manifesting our long-term goals. Talk about the years ahead and form a strategy to achieve the things you want together: a home, a family, investments, etc.
　　一定要一起規(guī)劃人生,。我們的規(guī)劃不一定會(huì)實(shí)現(xiàn)，但是和伴侶一起憧憬未來(lái)可以激勵(lì)我們沿著正確的方向朝著長(zhǎng)期目標(biāo)大步邁進(jìn),。你們可以談?wù)勎磥?lái)幾年的事,，達(dá)成一致策略，以實(shí)現(xiàn)共同目標(biāo)：如房屋計(jì)劃,、家庭計(jì)劃,、投資計(jì)劃等等。

　　Do bring them comfort: Your partner wants to come home to love, not to a headache. Make your home a place that always reels your partner back because they feel safe, stable, and nurtured. Don't start talking about your problems as soon as your partner walks through the door.
　　一定要讓他們感到舒適,。你的伴侶希望回家能感受到愛(ài),，而不是一回去就頭疼。把你的家打造成一個(gè)伴侶心之所系之處,，讓他們感覺(jué)安全,、穩(wěn)定,、受到關(guān)愛(ài)。不要伴侶一走進(jìn)家門(mén),，你就開(kāi)始傾訴自己遇到的問(wèn)題,。

　　Do act in the right time: Time can be your biggest enemy or your best friend. The wisdom is to recognize when you should act versus when you should wait. Don't obligate your partner to do things in a certain amount of time.
　　一定要在合適的時(shí)間做合適的事。時(shí)間可以是你最大的敵人,，也可以是你最好的朋友,。關(guān)鍵是你要用智慧分辨出什么時(shí)候應(yīng)該有所行動(dòng)、什么時(shí)候應(yīng)該耐心等待,。一定不要強(qiáng)迫你的伴侶在限定的時(shí)間內(nèi)做什么事,。